Kid friendly cafe culture.

I came across this charming article the other day. I know I shouldn't read the Mail, but if I come across a copy I can't help myself, it's like picking a scab. I began to think about my halcyon days of cafe and kid.

There is no Costa Coffee in my town. The bookshop here is resolutely secondhand, academic and closed till you ring the bell (and GLORIOUS inside,but that's another review), and minus the obligatory coffee pit stop. No Giraffe, no M&S cafe, nothing fancy. So when the kids fancy a mornign out, and I fancy a lunchtime free from cooking, I can no longer pop on a bus and nip to a Waterstones or the like for a ten quid muffin and coffee. When son was a wee one, less than 6 months old, I often took the No 19 to central London and sat in Borders cafe with a huge coffee, staring blankly at passers by and attemting to breastfeed. It was easy then, one baby in a sling, one arm free for sipping latte.

Then along came daughter. Son was 16 months, she was 4 weeks, we attempted a trip to Borders in Cambridge. Ramps too narrow for the buggy, a lift with no floor guidance chart, and a long line of coffee wanters. It's a different story lining up for coffee and muffins when you have a sling, a buggy, and a rampant toddler. No arms free for taking the coffee back to the once was vacant now pinched from under your nose table. Nowhere to park the buggy, having to ask for a key to the changing room for the baby, and tiny wee cramped round tables with pathetic high chairs that couldn't restrain a rag doll let alone boy toddler as was. Severely out of pocket for an expensive coffee that wasn't even finished, as the crowds and hammed in-ness started to get to son and he erupted, leaving all the surrounding couples and singles staring at me, the only glance of sympathy coming from a similarly trapped mother over the other side of the room.

I didn't try to enter Cambridge with them both again until I had a packed lunch, one out of nappies and my husband with me.

So I use our local cafes. They don't offer you papers and muffins for a fiver, and the coffee is not fairtrade, or even, actually, recognisable as coffee, really. But what they do offer me is 5 minutes peace. There are 3 I use regularly, and none of them would win awards for healthy food or coolness, but for a mum of two with little patience they win over trendy cafes any day, and the pocket is pleased too.

Cafe one is the cafe of choice, it resides in DJ's Garden Centre and is called Poppies. Son loves going because not only do they have a fine selection of fountains and implements at the garden centre but the cafe has 2 very good climbing frames and a slide with a den on top. In the sunshine it is nice to sit outside and let them run riot. Food is standard cafe fare, with full breakfasts all day, roasts and the usual omelettes, some pies, fresh fish and poultry, snacks and so on. Desserts are good too, homemade. The kids do have their own menu with the inevitable fishfingers and burgers, but mine usually opt for beans or scrambled egg on toast and a rhubarb crumble. 2 kids and an adult can eat there for under a tenner, drinks included. Coffee is ok, but not fresh. It's table service, there are magazines and papers to read, and the ladies there are more than happy to let the kids wander about. I can waste a morning doing the garden centre and cafe. It only loses out in the bad weather as I can't push the buggy along the verges then. It sits on a busy pathless road and it's a risk to walk on the verges in the mud. It really needs a path leading to it, but then again, everyone seems to drive apart from me. 2 loos, no baby changing. Oh, and the garden centre is great, a full review of that nearer Spring.

Cafe 2 is the Turkish Cafe, "Cafe Delight". Luminous menus and all kids of kebabs sit alongside HUGE all day breakfasts. Again, it's table service and it's friendly. I avoid the breakfasts as the sausages are not of the best quality, but the omlettes, jacket spuds etc are all great, and they also do sarnies, salads and so on. Clientel are usually a range of mums, road and farm workers eating their own bodyweight in lard and the careworkers from down the road. The Turkish waiters are great and very kid friendly, you have to prevent them from giving the kids sweets. Again, cheap, cheerful, bit lardy. You can eat healthily, but only by searching the menu very carefully. 2 loos, no baby changing.

Cafe 3 is the bakery. Called Bonnetts, it offers a few tables and tea and coffee. Coffee is pretty rank, tea is a better bet. Very bad for you sausage rolls (no pig stays that pink after cooking, surely?) etc, and a vast array of cream cakes and fatty things. The little custard tarts are nice, and the almond cakes my preferred treat. Worth a sit down in on a rainy day, as the ladies behind the counter a nice to the kids and you can amuse yourself by guessing just how many cakes the enormously fat woman who just came in will buy. Trust me, there are very many fat people in Chatteris. I know this is not a PC thing to say, but until I moved here I had no idea that some people use mobility scooters just because they can't be arsed to walk. The kids like it here because it's next to the Sally Army charity shop where they can buy tat for 20p, and they also enjoy the sickeningly sweet gingerbread men that don't taste of ginger at all, but it's all quite unhealthy, even by Chatteris standards, and so best left for treats. One loo but no baby changing.

Cafe 4 is the one thats too far to walk, really, so by the time we get there the kids are almost too tired and naughty to eat. It is the Bridge Cafe on the High Street, and the only one with PROPER coffee, Costa brand. It also does the by now fatal fat overdose fry-ups, plus kebabs, pizza, and panini. It says there are salads on the menu but I bet nobody has ever eaten one. The paninis are nice enough and did I mention there is PROPER coffee? Again, table service, cheap, friendly staff, newspapers of the tabloid variety and a rude picture in the loo. No baby changing area, but they are fine about you doing it wherever.

See the Qype page for maps.

Ok, so here in the back of beyond, the food is harder to get healthy-wise, no bran muffins here, but the reception you get is by far and away preferable to the unhelpfulness of most city cafes towards parents of young children. My kids are (generally) well behaved, and like to sit at a table and just be out to eat, but no, they are not quiet and they do on occaision sound crazy. It's important to get kids to mix in public, and important to let me have a coffee. I am willing to let my kids eat a sausage roll of dubious quality once in a while if it means I can get out of the house with them and get some caffeine to boot. In this respect, the small cafe wins every time over the Starbucks (and that's leaving aside all the political and moral reasons not to go there anyway...)